This is the end?

As you may or may not be aware there’s a new Scream movie coming out soon, now seeing the posters got me thinking about an old issue for many a protagonist.

The situation:

It’s nearly the end of the film, you’ve worked out who the killer is, ran away for a bit, managed to survive this long, well done. You even managed to survive the big set piece show down, that’s it, the killer/monster/alien/robot is vanquished, time to go walk off into the sunset with the gal/guy/dog of your choosing possibly even with a humorous quip about how you knew it would all be alright….

NO, you moron have you never watched any of the derivatives of the film you’re in (double negative points if you’re in a Scream movie as someone will have already made reference to this)? That killer monster alien robot is not going to stay down the first time, you’ve got to be prepared to take some serious action.

First, never let the body out of your site until you’ve confirmed its death, anything else is just asking to be attacked again before the credits or worse a sequel!

Second, as  Jesse Eisenberg rightly says in Zombieland, “Double Tap”, just because you’ve seen someone take a fall doesn’t mean they’re dead. Solution, aim for the head if there’s just 1 target empty a fall clip into it, a bloody mess on the floor has real difficulties in coming back.

Thirdly, if your method of dispatch is a vehicle, hit reverse and keep on driving forward and back until you no longer notice the bumps!

Fourthly, if it’s an option (and remember this is a potentially something that will return again and again after you and your family) dismemberment works well, and I don’t just mean rip the arms and legs of the robot. I’m more of a cut it up into tiny little pieces and jump up and down on it until you can think of a way of dispatching each individual part to a different location.

So to summarise, if your nemesis managed to take a lot of damage to put it down then the odds are that if you leave, then like Chubawhumba, they’ll get knocked down then get up again…